Daryl Conner

November 27, 2012

How Do Controlling People Establish Their Hold?

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In my last post, I described two styles of parenting: nurturing and gatekeeping. Nurturers recognize and accept their children; gatekeepers control and manipulate their offspring. In this post, we’ll look closer at what we learned as children about how to get the affirmation we wanted from our parents, and how those same dynamics play out in our adult lives. This will help us understand how easily change practitioners fall into similar patterns when interacting with sponsors who ask (and sometimes demand) that we inappropriately cut corners when applying our methodologies.

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November 20, 2012

The Importance of Affirmation

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For most people, personal sovereignty (the capacity to operate primarily under one’s own authority) requires rewiring some neural circuitry that has been in place since they were toddlers. This is not easily done and helps explain why so many, including change practitioners, devote much of their lives to accommodating the wishes of others rather than being true to who they really are. In this post, I’ll describe some of the factors that help develop this kind of independence.

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November 13, 2012

There’s One Thing We Need More Than Sound Methods

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As seasoned change practitioners, the main hindrance to becoming more proficient at our craft doesn’t lie in deepening our technical expertise. Instead, it comes from being better prepared to stand firm against client pressure to disregard the principles and guidance provided by whatever implementation approach we rely on. I refer to this kind of self-reliance and tenacity as sovereignty.
In this post, I’ll detail some of the characteristics of personal sovereignty in order to set the stage for a later installment on the role this kind of autonomy plays in our work.

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November 7, 2012

How to Find and Use Your Voice

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What is behind the shortage of courage and discipline within our professional community of change practitioners? Why do so many of us lack the confidence to express the conviction we have for the approaches we use? In this new series, I’ll offer ways we can take a more authoritative stance with clients when we advocate for utilizing our chosen methodologies—as they were intended to be applied.

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